Eight Rules for Living with Pain

By Stephen Bucaro

Each morning when you rise, you should thank god for giving you the gift of another day of life on his beautiful planet. If you greet the new day free of any physical pain, you should thank god a second time. Thousands of people are not fortunate enough to experience a pain free day. They spend their day struggling against pain because of a temporary or permanent illness or malady.

Back problems are an example of a common cause of the type of continuous pain I am referring to, but there are many other causes. This article is for those of you who survive this type of pain or who know someone who does. The eight rules provided below, unfortunately, will not remove your pain. Instead they will show you how to accept your situation and live a proud and productive life despite the pain.

Rule 1. Play the ball where it lies. This rule of golf should be your philosophy of life. You can give up on life and be angry about your situation, or you can accept it and deal with it the best you can. I live in Arizona adjacent to a mountain park. It is very common to see a coyote walk through my back yard. Many times I see a coyote limping with a broken leg.

I can only imagine the other maladies the coyote suffers - fleas, ticks, mange, dental pain etc. But the coyote doesn’t think "how unfair life is", or lament his situation in any way. The coyote just goes on with life, doing the best he can to survive each day, without judgment. Be like the coyote. Accept your situation and live a proud and productive life despite the pain.

Rule 2. Be nice to other people. Don’t be resentful of people who do not have the misfortune of living with pain. Your suffering does not give you the right to be nasty to other people. You may have the right to be nasty to the person who caused the problem resulting in your pain, but not to the others who had nothing to with it.

Don't have unrealistic expectations about how people should treat you because of your condition. They need only treat you the same as they would treat any other individual. People have their own lives and their own problems to worry about. Everyone you meet will experience periods of pain in their lifetime, and they can’t expect the world to stop and give them special recognition for that, and neither should you.

Rule 3. Don't be lazy and expect other people to do everything for you. A sympathetic relative or friend may wait on you hand-and-foot for a while. But eventually even the most sympathetic person will tire of that. Do as much as you can for yourself. As long as you can perform a function without causing further problems or experiencing unbearable pain, do it yourself.

When other people see that you are determined to take care of yourself despite the pain, they will gain more respect for you. Then they will gladly help you with the tasks you really can’t do yourself. It’s not only god who helps those who help themselves, we will all gladly help the individual who is making an honest effort to help himself.

When you do receive help from someone, always show appreciation to the person who assists you. Thank them each and every time they help you. Don’t take their help for granted. This includes people who are paid to assist you. Most people receive a paycheck to do a job, but very few eagerly perform their duties. Show sincere appreciation when they do. This will make assisting you a more pleasant part of their job.

Most people who live with pain or disabilities are still capable of performing many tasks quite well. When a friend or relative voluntarily provides you with assistance in a task you are not capable of performing, see if there is something within your capabilities that you can do for them in return.

RSS Feed

 Health