When You Have to Say I'm Sorry

Perhaps the two most magic words in the English Language are "I'm sorry." And yet many people don't seem to have this phrase in their vocabulary. Saying "I'm sorry" can:

• clear the air
• show your genuine concern
• eliminate bad feelings
• foster trust
• encourage honesty
• allow communication to go forward

"I'm sorry" can also do a great deal to assuage your own guilty feelings - but that's a topic I'll leave to clergy and counselors. Here's what I'd like to concentrate on: How can you use an apology to improve communications?

I've learned a lot of things about apologies over the years. Some of them I had to learn the hard way - at great personal cost. But I learned them, and I'm glad to share them.

• When in doubt, apologize. Saying I'm sorry" only takes a few seconds and doesn't cost any money. What's to lose? It might make you feel better. And it most assuredly will make the other person feel better. So don't deliberate. Say it.

• The sooner you say it, the better. It's better for you, because you'll stop stewing about it. And it's better for the other people because they'll stop stewing about it.

• Better late than never. You may think its' too late to apologize. Wrong. It's never too late to apologize. Remember: "I'm sorry" are the two most magic words in the English language. They can work miracles - even months or years after the fact. Indeed, a colleague once told me that a family riff had separated his siblings for decades. Eventually, one of them said "I'm sorry" - and normal family life resumed with surprising ease.

• Make an apology even if the other person hasn't noticed your mistake. Maybe you think you can slip something past the other person. You’re right. You might be able to hide the problem - but only for a short while. eventually they'll find out about the mistake. So you might as well fess up now.

• Don't make excuses. People don't want to hear excuses like, "But I don't have the time." or "But nobody ever told me." People want to hear "I'm sorry," and then they want you to move forward.

• Make things right. Try to correct your error. Offer a little something extra - a bonus, a refund, a small gift. Make the other person feel "taken care of"... not "taken advantage of."

• Prevent future screw-ups. Try to figure out what went wrong, and then fix that situation so it doesn't happen again.

• Don't say it too often. "I'm sorry" works best if you don't overuse it. With apologies, frequently often under-cuts impact.

This is an excerpt from: How to Write and Give a Speech: A Practical Guide for Anyone Who Has to Make Every Word Count

With more than 65,000 copies sold in two editions and recommended by Forbes and U.S. News and World Report, this newly updated how to guide offers sound advice on every aspect of researching, writing, and delivering an effective speech. Filled with anecdotes, tips, examples, and practical advice, this accessible guide makes one of the most daunting tasks manageable-and even fun.

Speaking coach Joan Detz covers everything from the basics to the finer points of writing and delivering a speech with persuasion, style, and humor.

Topics include:

• Assessing your audience
• Researching your subject-and deciding what to leave out
• Keeping it simple
• Using imagery, quotations, repetition, and humor
• Special-occasion speeches
• Speaking to international audiences
• Using Power Point and other visual aids
• And many more

Updated to include new examples and the latest technology, as well as a section on social media, this is a must-have for anyone who writes and delivers speeches, whether novices or experienced veterans at the podium. Click here to learn more.

More Success at Work Information:
• Dealing With Stress at Work
• Techniques - Delegation
• Increasing Your Value to the Company
• Being a Professional
• How to Successfully Manage a Difficult or "Bully" Boss
• Networking is Not a Dirty Word
• Techniques - Get Ahead by Faking It
• Why to Avoid Flirting in the Workplace
• People Skills - Working With Your Boss
• Reasons to Skip That Tattoo

RSS Feed

 Follow @Stephen Bucaro

 Choose a Career
 Finding a Job
 Success at Work